Lost in Textlation

It's happened to us all before. The long, gut-wrenching wait for a respond to a text message. Why is it taking so long? Maybe they are in the bathroom...but that's usually one of my favorite places to text. maybe they put their phone down and forgot about it...but that would be rude right in the middle of a conversation. Or maybe, which is what I was afraid of, something got lost in textlation. That sly remark...a sarcastic comment...or even just an unusual abbreviation...it went over their head and my seemingly witty text made no sense to them. Might have even made them angry

I just don't understand. The list of emoticons are growing each and every week. I mean I think its quite possible in the next hundred years our written language might eventually evolve into a series of smiley faces. Not that I have any issue with the smiley faces, since they do have a strange way of making you feel good inside. But im disappointed there isn't an emoticon or abbreviation for sarcasm. I'm a sarcastic dude a lot of the time...and I feel my sarcasm via text is typically lost somewhere along the journey from my phone, to the tower, to their phone. This has ruined a few potentially good text convos and I'm close to completing eliminating sarcasm from my texting efforts.
Worse than a failed sarcasm is a misunderstood abbreviation. Not only will this end a potentially great convo, but it could lead to a totally awkward and confusing one. Here's an example. A common abbreviation within my group of friends, and i believe others, is "mos def", meaning most definitely. Usually most people will catch on to this, but as the following text convo with an anonymous girl shows, the meaning can sometimes get lost...

Me: Hey there tiger
Girl: Oh heeeey where are you??
Me: Somewhere fun. You should come
Girl: I would but Stacy has already thrown up on three different street corners and i need to get her home. Hang out tomorrow?
Me: Mos def
Girl: Oh what time is the concert?
Me: concert?
Girl: Mos def
Me: the rapper?
Girl: Yea you just said you were seeing him
Me: No I didn't
Girl: umm yes you did :)
Me: Why did you just make a smiley face, that makes no sense. happy puking

Its a shame...I really thought I could enjoy spending some time with this girl. But after this awkward mess of a conversation, I had to delete her number and forget it ever happened.

There is one group of people who never seem to get their messages lost in textlation - parents. Getting texts from my parents stirs up a lot of odd feelings - fear, anxiety, scorn - but the meanings of the messages are never up in the air. They are clear and to the point: "when do u graduate?"..."get a job"..."we like your sister more than you". It's nice having that kind of literal consistency.

In conclusion, I hate the use of "lol". "haha" is where its at.

What to Wear on an Interview - Part II

I almost forget entirely about this little blog series...and that would have been a damn shame. We last left off with an exciting analysis of types of suits and ties to wear on an interview. I can only hope this next segment - shoes and "bling" - will be just as riveting.
They say shoes make the man. While I can’t fully agree with this, they do play an influential role. Here are two important tips to keep in mind when picking out your shoes. First, make sure your shoes and belt are the same color. There are only a few occasions when you can get away with wearing a different color belt, and a job interview is not one of them. Second, wear shoes with laces. I can’t stress this enough. Yes, I know, there are some very dressy looking loafers out there. But lace-ups say “Hey, I go the extra mile with my shoes (no pun intended; no, seriously) and I’ll do the same for your company.”
Now for the icing on the cake. The essential piece of “bling”, to put it in terms of suburban youth culture, is without a doubt a watch. And just a point of information for you music industry majors, I’m referring to analog, not digital. Not like any of you will be going on a legitimate interview anytime soon, but just in case. Back to the point, wearing a watch tells the interviewer that you care about keeping track of time and are cognitive of where you need to be when you need to be there. Not wearing a watch says the exact opposite. And believe me, one of the first things an interviewer does is look for that watch. Your co-op class didn’t teach you that, did it? The type of watch is important as well. Keep it simple. You’re not trying to sail the Atlantic Ocean here, you’re just trying to keep the time and look damn good doing it. I’m personally a fan of anything Movado, but since I have over $100,000 in student loans, I went with the Kenneth Cole Reaction line. Check ‘em out; they are very reasonably priced – www.kennethcole.com.

Deadlines

Bad decisions are all around us. Bernie Madoff and his multi-billion dollar scandal. The Buffalo Bills signing Terrel Owens. The guy I just saw at 7-11 buying a taco taquito instead of a monterrey jack. Just pay attention to the things going on as we walk down the street or drive in our car...hundreds of bad decisions.
But there is a difference between the three examples shared. There is something that harnesses these bad decisions...that allows for the right decision to be made, the second time around. And that is a deadline.

Take the taquito loving freshman from 7-11. His deadline is when he takes the last bite of his fried 750 calorie mid-finals week snack. Once he is finished, he will realize his bad decision and make the correct choice - moterrey jack - the next time he needs to fill his belly with artificially flavored meat and cheese.

Now the Buffalo Bills have a bit of a longer deadline. They signed T.O. to a one-year contract and will have to live with that decision for the duration of the year. They can't just fry him up, stuff him down their throat, and then poop him out like our taquito friend. But, after the year is up, the Bills will have the opportunity to either correct their mistake, by letting T.O. go, or continue with that by signing him to an extended contract and prolonging the bad decision.

Bernie Madoff is a bit different...and will eventually lead to the meat of this blog. Bernie didn't have a deadline for his bad decision. It was a bad decision that could have kept going until the day he died had he not been caught. There was no point in time for him to make him seriously question what he was doing. And thats why deadlines are so important.

As I graduate college, I realize that I, and many of my peers, are crossing one of the last serious deadlines in life. Decisions have to be made with much greater care and thought. In college, there is always the opportunity to start over, after graduation. But in life, such an opportunity does not exist. There's no deadline for getting married. There's no deadline for having kids (besides the abstract biological one). There's no deadline for getting that promotion. That's why decisions hold so much more weight now than they ever did before. You can't graduate life...you can only be enrolled in it.